Radical Self-Love in Action

Self-Help

Feb 19

Daily practices and truths to honor your worth

Masking our emotions is a struggle that has plagued us since childhood, and with the references to inner child trauma and constantly being triggered by the scrolling, swiping, and moves towards fight or flight-inducing situations. Have we lost our sense of self?

As I write these lines at 1:22 am next to the window listening to the sound of the rain outside, it hit me: Some believe that forgiveness comes with strings, and some think it's the best thing for you.

Are those opinions what’s been causing all the disturbances to our self-love?

It is also essential to consider that there will be times when one may form energetic strings that can attach. As we are energetic beings, it is easy to create an attachment, as our neurons and body react to the pheromones and feel-good chemicals released in the brain, such as oxytocin and serotonin.

Believe it or not, forgiveness is not always a sharp, cold knife plunging into your bleeding heart. Captivation is a tightrope when standing on the ledge of responsibility and pressure. As one creates the mask of the archetype best aligned with people's traumas and unmet needs, one starts to see a frenzy begin. I recently read a thought-provoking article here reminding us that we have more than one idea, emotion, and experience, which can shape our personalities into the “healer” or” magician.” “No, not like the scene in The Lord of the Rings Movie Sagas)

“You SHALL NOT PASSSS!”

The energetic pull you feel towards rushing in to save, love, or comfort someone costs you more than it's worth. Am I right?

AM I telling you not to fall in love?

Well no.

But I am encouraging you to err on the side of caution.

Routines and practices are sacred, but the healing is like a collapse!

Check out this explanation below to understand why, sometimes, it can feel like you're literally breaking down bit by bit to release the old versions of identity and self.

If we do not know love, how can we know it when we find it?

For years, we have been told, fed, and lied to about what love is, and our fears, traumas, and abandonments have spilled over, thus covering the collective with truths, but fallacies are easily disguised as truths.

That is it. Your lack of concern or inability to know your needs both emotionally and mentally can and have the potential to impact the balance within the relationship.

So you've searched or maybe are in a secure and committed relationship. The masks we wear in person and behind the curtain call for immediate examination. ” Why are you different? Why are you that way? We'll lock you away if you don't get in line.” “Dave Matthews Band

A line from a song, an old triggering memory can take us back to when we felt abandoned, tossed aside, or even worse, abused.

What is abuse?

According to Merriam-Webster online:

1 a corrupt practice or custom

2 improper or excessive use or treatment: misuse

3 languages that condemn or vilify, usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily

4 physical maltreatment

5 obsolete: a deceitful act: deception

Most of the time, we rationalize with ourselves, asking the questions

Did I do enough?

Did I say enough?

WAS I ENOUGH?

The truth is: Yes and No.

Let's be honest with ourselves for a moment.

Who do you need to become?
What makes you feel connected to others?
When will you start?
Where do you need to eliminate stress?
Why do you define yourself by your past?

OK, I am almost kicking you in the virtual bum. (HE HE)

My personal favorite:

Will you ever release the mental noise?

HAND ON YOUR HEART AND REPEAT AFTER ME:

I define self-love beyond cliché.. It is not selfish for me to love myself

Self-love is the foundation for healing trauma, setting boundaries, and opening to spirituality.

The hardest truth:

“THEY MAY NEVER ACCEPT YOU AND THAT IS OK!”

The most defining moments for me were always having my bags packed from the time I was 13 til I was 23. My need for alcohol, boys, and trouble became my match for the beginning of masking the trauma and pain.

I became the Damsel and the Rebel. I lost direction, hope, and most importantly, my sense of self-love.

You may have asked the question:

Can I redeem myself?

In a constant ping pong match with parents, authority, and our sometimes complete disregard for anything that tries to control us. You may have found yourself in controlling and abusive relationships.

Remember, we mentioned forgiveness earlier?

This journey with self-love, spirituality, and healing is sure to be messy, and no matter how long it takes you to realize your worth, rest assured that when you finally do, it's like needing glasses and being handed a pair.

There's no need to be right when it was all wrong, and you will feel so disconnected sometimes that it may even feel like you're spinning your wheels.

IT WILL TAKE SOME ADJUSTING.

I discovered a few things while navigating between the ocean and the mountains:

· Those places don't define your heart.
· Blame doesn't restore what's been lost.
· Regardless of where you have been, it's the present that matters.

(NEWS FLASH YOU ARE HUMAN)

It is no surprise or conspiracy theory that we have been conditioned since birth about what love, family, and betrayal are. We have been fed the hero and the villain stories in movies, books, and TV. When is it ever going to be enough?

You can be of service without being a disservice to yourself